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December 15th, 2016 by ΔΠΣ - Pearl River, LA - USA
Jill Stein Demands Recount of Chickens Prior to Hatching
In a stunning annoucement today, Jill Stein has demanded that farmers accross the country begin counting their chickens
prior to hatching! "It is absolutely important that we know what kind of food stores we are going to have in the future for this
country!" Stein said in a briefing today at The US Poultry Association. She continued "...therefore it is necessary for Poultry
Farmers to begin a complete accounting of all chickens prior to hatching." This comes on the heels of a successfull recount of votes
in Michigan which she set into motion, which furthered Trump's lead over Clinton and exposed mass voter fraud in heavily Democratic districts
that showed more votes were cast for Clinton than the actual number of registered voters.
The issue of counting chickens prior to hatching, however, has sent poultry farmers across the county into a tizzy, as the
unorthodoxed demand defies all known methods of accounting for future chicken populations. "Where are we going to get the money for this
action?" asked Poultry Farmer Hans Tyd, of Gary, Indiana. "The money she is proposing to raise for this endeavor she has already in
confidence told us is going straight to her own bank account, and we're basically left stranded with the bill."
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